During the divorce process, you will probably find it challenging to think about anything else. It can seem endless and you will have a lot of support from loved ones as they understand that you’re going through a hard time. Once you have finished the divorce process and all of the legal and financial issues have been resolved you may find that your friends consider the hard part over.
You will need to be ready for some real emotional upswings and downward turns in the weeks and months following a divorce. You were super busy planning the divorce with a family lawyer and working through all of the paperwork that you probably didn’t have time to reflect and actually think about what you are going to do next.
1. Keep a journal or diary
This may seem a little too on the nose, but we recommend that you keep some sort of record over the next few months of your emotions. It can be very therapeutic to write down how you feel at any given time. Looking back and re-reading your journal can be a great way to remind yourself just how far you have come. You will also start to feel more independent as you are allowing yourself to process the emotions rather than having to rely on friends and family members all of the time.
2. Talk to someone you trust
That being said you will need someone to lean on during this time. You should choose someone that is close to you and that you trust completely. You will be very vulnerable at this time and you need those around you to know that the healing process is far from over.
3. Let the past, be the past
You should not be looking for revenge. If you were wronged in the relationship then it might be fun to let your negative feelings marinate but as the saying goes, the best revenge is living well. By taking any energy that you have towards hating the other person in your old marriage and putting it into something positive you will make greater strides to recovery.
4. Work, work, work
You may have been distracted at work during the divorce. Now is the time to focus on your career. If marital problems caused problems in your career now would be a good time to focus on work and those areas of work that have suffered. Focusing energy on work will help take your mind off divorce problems. It will also give you structure and routine and during stressful situations, you need both.
5. Enjoy life
You now will probably have a lot of time on your hands, it is important to get out there and try new things as much as you can. You probably haven’t been single in years so maybe now is the time to get out there and see what you’ve been missing.
6. Get in shape
Everyone knows that when you’re in a relationship, you get comfortable and may not focus too much energy on going to the gym. Well, now you’re single and will probably be thinking about meeting new people in the long run. If that is something that you want, now is the time to hit the gym. If the gym isn’t your thing then maybe you could take a class and get active that way. This is also a great way to meet new people. Even if you aren’t looking for anything romantic yet, expanding your network of friends at this time can be very helpful as you won’t have every conversation begin with the dreaded “how have you been holding up?”