It’s a gorgeous Friday night and the summer air breezes as your fella puts his arm around you and heads toward make-out point on the mountain. Sure, it’s a classic set-up, but these things do happen. And perhaps both of you are angsty and young, perhaps the pill you’re taking doesn’t work (though there’s a 99.7 per cent chance that birth control pills work). Or you’re older, and you both make a foolish mistake and he was going to stop but “the phone rang and it startled me.”
Whatever the case, you are now with child. It can be scary, it can be exciting, but there’s no doubt it’s nerve-wracking. So what to do? Turns out, there are plenty of options, all dependent on your own system of beliefs and feelings about pregnancy. This has always been a sticking point in both U.S. and Canadian politics.
A woman’s right to choose is just that – her choice. So here are six unplanned pregnancy options and advice to make the inexplicable, well, explained.
There are many unplanned pregnancy options when it comes to raising a child. Personally, I only learned I had a half-sister a year ago and though we were far apart, we got close rather quickly. But she was raised well, given away at birth for adoption and given all the opportunities life can afford. Consider, though the options on your own personal development – can I afford this financially? Can I give the time and care a child needs? Thankfully, Canada offers some sort of breaks in work for pregnancy, but not enough. No one should be punished for furthering along our species.
But how to break that sort of news to the child and when, if ever, do you do so? Do so gradually. Talk about adoption regularly around the house. Otherwise, it’ll be a bombshell when they are of a conscious understanding of who they are.
Never, I can’t stress this enough, talk about how lucky they were to be adopted. Raise them as though they were your own. Too often, we get bogged down in child-rearing and cushioning issues that ultimately make the end result so much worse.
It was the great comedian George Carlin that pointed out how absurd we pay attention to youth. There is such focus these days on helicopter-parenting. Play dates. You actually have to make a date to play. When was the last time a kid took a stick and dug in the ground for fun? Nope, that stick is probably poisoned. Let a kid learn to be a kid, let them grow naturally.
In the U.S., abortion rights are always a sticky issue. The supreme court decision of Roe v. Wade in 1973, granting women the right to choose, is never not something that is brought up when a new justice is appointed. It’s a tumultuous issue. And with the current administration, what is law is in constant threat of being overturned.
Regardless of the circumstances that led to the unplanned pregnancy options, pregnancy is always a woman’s decision. Should she decide to raise, abort or give it up for adoption, the male’s job is to be fully supportive of their choice. Such choices vary on religious background, family and a variety of other issues and upbringings far too long to get in to. It’s up to the woman.
Parenthood is a frightening term. In Ron Howard’s comedy Parenthood, Steve Martin constantly messes up and tries to fix things with his kids, never knowing what the next step will be. But such is life. We all make mistakes, but when it comes to actually raising a child, there are many questions you must consider beyond the financial.
Are you mature enough? Can you break certain news to them that is sometimes very frightening to a child. What isn’t frightening to a child? Imagine you as a kid, barely toilet-trained, and someone close to family passes away. How to tell that to a kid. Confronting them with the concept that life will one day end must be a terrifying experience.
4. Folic Acid
Folic is necessary to reduce the risk of neural tube defects. It’s incredibly important to take a pill daily to keep your baby healthy in the womb, lest you get a folate defect. This could cause serious illness in the child.
5. Quit Drinking and Smoking
Though it may have been quite an evening conceiving the child, it’s time to get serious. Drinking while pregnant can cause fetal alcohol syndrome, leading to defects in the child’s devolopment. If you are worried this may affect your fertility success, visit a fertility specialist for more insights and information.
6. Avoid Things That Can Hurt the Fetus
You’d be surprised how many things can actually effect your bundle of joy. Such things include:
- Cat litter (which can cause taxoplasmosis)
- Raw meat
- Unpastuerized foods
- Seafood is especially dangerous, given the high levels of mercury in most of the ocean these days.
Whatever you decide, be sure to take care, be safe and should you go through with it, provide a clean, healthy environment for your child.